As most of us are hearing that Bangalore roads are flooded with vehicles all the day. Police couldn't control it by any means.
I have most of my friends there, and when I call them, most of the time they complaint about the traffic.
If you are not aware of this traffic hazards in bangalore, then read the below.
I have a friend, Rangarajan who is in Bangalore, working for a MNC. His wife Malar is also a good friend of mine,
and she is doing her MBA. Last Month 17th-Wednesday was his birthday, so I called him on his mobile at 10:30 in the morning.
Malar : "Hi Kiruthik, he is eating, and you have to talk to me till he finish "
I said : "Sure.... " and I was asking about her parents
And I added "Malar, whats special today, where are you planning to go now ??? "
(Thinking that he has taken leave on his birthday, and the young couple will go somewhere .....)
She replied : "Nothing special, Im on my way to the class."
I didn't understand what she meant so, I asked her " Then why RANGA, didn't go to office"
She replied " No no, he is on his way to office. we are inside the car....." And she continued "Kiruthik, its mess here. Full of vehicles on the road. We went to temple and he dropped me in our apartments, and he left. And after half an hour, he called me said that he was struck in the traffic, near the departmental store, which is just a hundred meter from our home. So, I took few slices of bread & egg for him to eat. And so we are inside the car. At anytime we may move."????????
What was that....There will be many stories with people in Bangalore which is very common......
Its seems that the police have got Simputer, to ticket the traffic violators. Anyway im happy that Simputer has got the day in
Bangalore at least in this form.
And coming to the traffic jokes, im receiving many forwarded-jokes narrating the daily traffic jams in Bangalore.
Ques: What is the most common disease in Bangalore?
Ans: RSI - Repetitive Stress Injury. No, not because of computers, but because of honking horns!
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Ques: Is the problem really that bad?
Ans: Just wait near a road hump. Most drivers honk the horn - hoping that the hump will go away.
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Ques: Why do Bangaloreans overtake from the left?
Ans: Because, the traffic sign board where overtaking is prohibited, shows an arrow that is overtaking from right. So it must be OK to overtake from the light.
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Ques: How does the traffic in Bangalore prove that there is a 'God up there' and he is pro-Bangalorean.
Ans: Traffic continues to move after the light has turned red on the one side and the traffic from the road perpendicular to it starts moving even before the light there has turned green. Still there are no crashes!
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Ques: What is the second such indication?
Ans: Boards have started appearing which say something like “Go only when green”.
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Ques: Which city in India has the greatest acrobats?
Ans: Bangalore of course. Look at all the drivers talking on the mobile, honking the horn, beating the traffic lights, cursing the other motorists, avoiding pot holes, ........... all at the same time.
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Ques: Why do Bangaloreans drive in the middle of the road or on the right?
Ans: They have taken the description “Silicon Valley of India” too seriously.
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Ques: How does a Bangalorean park a car in a no parking zone?
Ans: Turn the hazard lights on, leave a hapless passenger inside and walk out.
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Ques: If a strange, exception-to-the-rule Bangalorean stops at at traffic light, others behind him stop too. Why?
Ans: The others conclude that he has spotted a policeman that they themselves have not spotted.
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Ques: What is the easiest way of causing traffic accidents in Bangalore?
Ans: Follow the traffic rules.
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Ques: How far is a place from here (If it is 100 meters) ?
Ans: Five minutes by walk, half an hour by car.
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10 Commandments of Traffic...
- If you see Red Light, then you can look LEFT, then RIGHT, then proceed undeterred unless there is a danger of getting pulverized by oncoming traffic.
- An Orange Light here doesn't mean that “Slow Down...lights changing”, but “Speed up buster, or the world'll know thou sucketh” !!
- A Green Light means, "Do whatever you want"!!!!!
- You can be the first to honk when the light turns green.
- You can start moving when the timer says 7 seconds left for light to turn green.
- If you see the auto in front giving it's right indicator, but the driver waving his left hand, then you can not mind the indicator.
- You can seek whichever lane is free, because it is your birth right to change lanes at the last moment. That is why the indicators and horns are there.
- You can not use dipper at night.
- If you are at foot, then you are the "King of the Road"...nothing can touch you!
- You can disregard one-way signs only if you have Rs. 50 in your pocket.
